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  Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population : you.
Homer Simpson

  Embarrassing Stories
  I was only about 12 at the time and was during one of my dads work picnics for a construction company. The picnic was held in a park and there were heaps and heaps of families there. They had free softserve ice creams on offer so it was pretty much all I ate all day. they also had rides on offer and I happend to chose the biggest and baddest looking one called the tornado. It was one of those rides that spun and spun as fast as it could spin you, whilst tilting at different axis to really mess you up....and it really messed me up. It was only when the ride stopped spinning and I when I was walking out of it that I felt the icecream really not sitting well in my stomach. I was going to chunder and knew it but I couldnt do it here because there were too many people and kids around lining up for the rides and the food stalls. So I basically ran to find a nice quiet place to gently expell the contents of my stomach. Only problem was there were people everywhere. Needless to say I could only hold the icecreram in for so long and I couldnt have chose a worser spot to be rid of it. It was a beautiful place to vomit no doubt about it. Under a huge shady tree surrounded by thick soft grass. families sitting on blankets under its shade enjoying there packed lunches of sandwiches, cold chicken and salads when they were rudely interrrupted by some kid spraying thick, white, gooey vomit all over the tree, the grass and whatever else got in the way of the projectile fountain of softserve. I could hear the shrieks of the children and the mothers as they stared at the horror before there eyes. Of course blokes being blokes just sat there laughing. But anyway im pretty sure they stopped eating there lunches after witnessing that and I would like to apolagise for ruining there picnic in quite a spectacular way. Sorry
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