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  Stand on toilet, get high on pot.

  Embarrassing Stories
  I was leaving a friend's house one night and had to pee really bad but both bathrooms were in use. I figured I could make it home and went sprinting out to my car. This was last winter and the ground was covered with a couple of feet of soft snow.

Halfway across the front yard, I tripped and went sprawling! As I flew helplessly through the air, I could see the headlights of a car coming down the street - slowly because of the snow. Immediately thereafter, I landed with a SPLAT in a full spread eagle, face down, in the snow.

Just as I lifted my humiliated face out of the snow, my eyes and mouth wide open with the cold, wet shock, the car passed by EVER so slowly. Although it was probably only a few seconds, it seemed to take FOREVER! Simultaneously, I realized that I was wetting my pants. I lay there throbbing with INTENSE embarrassment and, with no other way to hide and since my face was BLAZING, let it fall back into the snow. I have never felt more ridiculous or defeated in my entire life either before or since!

Afterwards, I consoled myself with the very small and unrealistic hope that maybe they somehow hadn't seen me and that no one would ever know of my embarrassing sprawl. I even covered up the indentation I had left, which was a perfect X and featured a yellow patch. I could almost pretend then that it had never happened.

As I brushed the snow off myself, I could see the car stopped at the traffic light at the end of the street and prayed that they weren't watching me in their rear view mirror. I was so embarrassed as the car sat at that light that my movements were stiff and awkward as I finished brushing off the snow and got into my car. There I waited, still blazing and throbbing, until the light changed and the car left before I took off, as I was headed in that direction.

However, a few nights later, I was again leaving the same friend's house at about the same time and a car passed by - again slowly as there was still snow - and honked - a couple of playful toots - which forced me to realize that it HAD to be the same people (or person) that passed by that night!

Although I knew that they couldn't possibly know that I had wet my pants and although I couldn't see into their car in the dark, I also knew that they had most likely looked directly into my wide open eyes that night, illuminated by the bright street light, and clearly witnessed me experiencing the single most humiliating moment of my entire life in a moment when I was totally incapable of hiding it (as I was at that very moment reacting to an unexpected cold, wet shock, not to mention wetting my pants) other than to put my face right back into the snow.

It had been EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING and now here I was, being made to relive the humiliation all over again only this time there was no snow to hide in as I was standing up. And this time it was impossible to pretend that they hadn't seen me as they honked to make certain of it!

I was also subjected to the additional unavoidable embarrassment of having to realize that, not only had they SEEN me, but they REMEMBERED the incident and RECOGNIZED me several days later and, worst of all, that they were LAUGHING at me!

Knowing that I had unwillingly entertained them with the most humiliating moment of my entire life was BEYOND embarrassing! It made me feel SOOOOO SILLY! My face and ears were blazing as I throbbed all the way home, even more embarrassed than I had been the first time, which, until then, I had thought totally impossible!
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