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  Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

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  My crush asked me out for the first time. While we were out on our date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes.

The next thing I knew we were making out. Out of nowhere a bird pooped on us and it went right between our lips. My boyfriend freaked! He thought I was having a seizure because he saw this white stuff and he thought it was coming from my mouth.

He starting shaking me. He shook me so hard that he knocked me unconscious. When I woke up after about 5 minutes he asked me if I was alright. I said: "yes, but you knocked me out."

He said: "No I didn't. You were having a seizure."

I said: "No, you moron, that white stuff was bird poop."

After that we broke up and never looked each other in the eye again. Worst of all our friends had been double dating in the park and had watched the WHOLE thing! They still call us poop breath!
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