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  I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Rodney Dangerfield

  Embarrassing Stories
  This morning I feed our 1 yr old french taost, then i went out on the porch to read the paper. About 10 minutes later I hear my husband screaming frantically.

I run in the house and he's screaming: "Take the baby, quick! I thought it was syrup, I licked it."

I said, "well, what was it?"

He said, "Shit, the baby shit all over. It came out his diaper. I thought it was syrup on my hand from picking him up. It's shit. I ate it!!" as he's running to the bathroom to wash his mouth out.

I have never seen something so funny in my life.
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